The lost art of avoiding and handling conflicts

Our relations with the others seem to do nothing but to make our existence complicated and stressful. We all must admit we are practically fighting over the most meaningless things in the world as negotiation seems to have become a lost art. However hard it is, you should learn that it is better to give up sometimes and that you may not always be right.

But, if a conflict still occurs remember that the best way to solve is through empathy. Imagine you are in the other’s position and decide whether it is worth or not to go on discussing the issue. Take the others’ arguments into consideration too and you will manage to handle every kind of situation easily.

At work- a lot of conflicts are caused by one’s job as there are a lot of factors which, combined with the high level of stress lead to strong disagreements from time to time. So what do you do when someone tries to get your post or if you are overlooked for promotion no matter how much you have worked? Definitely, the first thing that comes into your mind is to go and tell a couple of things to them. However, as long as the other’s actions do not affect you there is not point in doing that; you can also compromise your position by starting a fight at work. What you can do is to have a very relaxed attitude, do your best at work and show everyone that that job is yours to keep. By showing not to care at all about anything negative happening around you will gain points and look more professional.

If your boss is the problem and you think his treatment is unfair towards you or others you have every right in the world to complain. However, be sure that you can support your accusations and that you can point out on some real problems. Be calm and don’t forget that your boss is still an authority! In more serious cases you can ask for advice from a lawyer to be sure that you do the right thing.

And if someone broke your favorite cup or spoilt the perfect order of your files don’t make a fuss about it! That person probably feels bad enough about it! One simple discussion should be enough. As about gossip, don’t let that get to you. Comments are part of every successful person’s life.

At home – one’s home should be a peaceful place to relax. However fights occur very often in most families as gathered stress from work, frustrations and insufficient time spent together can easily make someone lose their temper. Family conflicts are very hard to handle many times as they are not always based on rational reasons and strong feelings and suffering are involved. So what should you do?

Parents and children: the generation gap has always brought a whole lot of discussions whether about music, lifestyle or friends. What you should know is that your parents only want the best for you, so, even if they may seem a little (or extremely) exaggerated don’t make a tragedy out of it. Of course, nobody likes to be told what friends to have or who to go out with but before starting to shout, think it over. They may be right as they can see things you just don’t. And if they are just trying to protect you, discuss calmly and explain your reasons for making a certain choice ( even though a huge tattoo on your arm may not be very easy to explain). Accept compromise even if you don’t like it. Prove to them that you can be responsible and you can think for yourself and most important, don’t offend them or tell unpleasant things. You will regret it later!

Couple affairs: when it comes to couples, matters become even more complicated as one’s feelings can be hurt in many different ways. Shouting, accusing and threatening about you moving back with your mother will not help a relationship but will destroy it. A relationship should always be built on trust and respect so this is why two people should be able to discuss practically every subject without being embarrassed or afraid. Making some time for each other should solve most of the problems, but when having to face others again do your best not to hurt the other. Angry words said during a fight can leave wounds that are hard to heal. So think why your partner might be mad and don’t decide from the start that you are right. Listen and don’t make sudden decisions as regrets will be useless later.

Everywhere – we see people fighting in shops, hotels, in the parking lot, on the street; even if they do not know each other they find a reason or another to start a conflict. Of course, there are a lot of people who show no respect or who lack in experience so they are totally incapable to have a post. What is annoying is that these people appear when you need them the least. But, even if you look at the incompetent clerk in front of you and feel like just hitting him with your umbrella, take a deep breath, be polite and wait. You may be just as annoying in some cases (OK, maybe not as much) and you would not enjoy such behavior. And then, by being calm and respectful you will not make things even harder then they already are!

So, even though many times it’s terribly hard to resist the temptation of just hitting someone remember that there are better solutions for avoiding and managing a conflict. Make your life and the others’ simple and pleasant!

8 ways to show that you love yourself

We all want to be happy and we all are ready to do just about anything to reach this goal. We study, we work, we travel, we try to make a change. However, most of us forget the most important thing: it’s not all about having a lot of money or going to the most luxurious resorts, it’s about loving yourself. So, when was the last time you thought about that?

First of all, take care of your body. Diseases can bring quite a lot of suffering no to mention the psychological impact they have on you! Take care of yourself and of your aspect too; when you look good, you feel good!

Eat healthily! Diets are recommended when you have a health problem; if you don’t have one, don’t push your body to the limits just to look like one of the supermodels you’ve seen on TV. You don’t have to fit the patterns of a kind of beauty you almost never see on the street! Learn to appreciate who you are as it’s impossible not to have qualities worth to appreciate. Of course, try not to choose the opposite and eat all the fast food you can get! Eat more vegetable, less sweets and burgers and try to avoid alcohol. Anyway, allow yourself small treats from time to time. Learn to create a balance.

Exercise! Physical activity should not be as scary as it seems to most people. In fact it can prove to be one of the most pleasant activities. You can choose to go to a gym to work out or, if your schedule does not allow it, you can find some time in the weekends to go for a run in the park while listening to your favourite music, take a long walk or play some basketball with your friends. Team sports allow you to socialize, have a lot of fun and even meet some new people. So when there are so many advantages it would be a shame to let it slip!

Take care of your health! Nowadays, our health is jeopardized by many factors so seeing a GP from time to time becomes a must. Have your heart, lungs and blood pressure checked, ask for some advice, learn about what you can do to improve your lifestyle. You don’t have to be afraid about a deadly disease being discovered every time you enter a hospital, it’s just a safety measure.

The way you behave can also tell a lot of things about how much you care about yourself. So make a few changes to change your general state of mind and to feel good everyday!

Have a good opinion about yourself You should never feel that the others are so much better than you at practically everything you try to do. Everyone has his or her own weak points, but these are the ones to define us. So don’t be afraid to show who you are even if it doesn’t work perfectly every time. Learn something from every mistake and do not give up. And the most important thing, never allow anyone to look down on you. Money, a special social status or a good job do not make you a better person! The world we live in makes us be more and more competitive and forces people to break any boundary. However, this should not make you feel inferior to anyone or unable to succeed. Give yourself another chance!

Find more time for your hobbies! A hobby is something you practically lose yourself into and defines your personality. No matter what it is, from collecting stamps to bungee-jumping, you should try and find more time for your hobby. If you feel like you don’t have something to give you so much satisfaction maybe it’s time to find that thing that can change your day from a boring one to the best day ever! How about dancing? It can prove to be a great substitute for working out and it’s fun to do. Moreover, everyone will be impressed at a party by your moves. Have you read a good book recently? Maybe it’s high time you should rediscover your passion for reading!

Don’t push yourself too far! Many sleepless nights at work, a whole “mountain” of reports on your desk, you haven’t gone out for quite some time…does that describe you? Think about your real purpose for doing all these. Does that make you happy or you just feel that you look like a zombie every morning? Think about your priorities and take a break if you need one and remember that life is not just about work.

Spend some time alone! No one asks you to suddenly become antisocial, it’s just a necessity even for the most sociable people. Life tends to become faster and faster and when so many things happen in just one day you definitely need some time to think them over. Find even a few minutes everyday to enjoy the silence of your home and to find strategies for the future or just to remember some good moments. This will help you be more relaxed and to find solutions faster.

And in the end, allow yourself something you’ve wanted for a long time. Whether it is your birthday, Christmas or any special occasion, buy something you’ve wanted for a long time and which makes you really happy even if it doesn’t have too much of a practical value. Of course, you should not put a mortgage on your apartment to buy a 50000 $ watch, just allow yourself something to bring you joy!

In the end it’s not so hard to have a better life and to rediscover yourself. Change your habits, take care of your body and your spirit too and don’t forget to smile when you look in the mirror!