I’ll admit I’m wrong if you’d tell me
I’m so sick of fights I hate them
Lets start this again for real
Blink 182 ~ Always ~
Photo by fantasticks
Well we’ve all had our share of couple fights, for various reasons; some end peacefully, but in most cases the outcome is not good at all. So why not avoid these fights, when possible? The most concentrated way of putting this is: speak your mind but listen to his/her point of view too and release the negative energy without doing things you will most definetly regret afterwards. But since things are often much harder, I’m gonna try and put this in a simpler and detailed way.
1. No insults
Photo by dreamingofdaysgoneby
When we’re nervous, we often tend to say things we regret afterwards; even “light” insults which said to a different person in a different context wouldn’t matter very much, are hard to digest in a couple fight. You should pay attention to this even before the fight breaks out; when you feel the tension is gathering try to calm yourself, don’t insult and furthermore don’t give any nasty responses. Just try to be as chill as possible, and although it seems impossible it’s easier than it seems. Try to understand that if you lose your nerve things will be even worse.
2. Mind your tone
Sometimes, saying a thing using a certain voice can mean a totally different things than if you were using a different tone. Most of us have the natural tendency to raise their voces and use a more annoyed tone. This can be controlled, and should, because it can have a soothing effect instead of a provoking one. Learning to control your voice is also something very useful in day to day life and can be extremely useful in some situations, such as holding a public speech.
3. Don’t say bad things about his/her family or friends
Even if it’s true! You’d be surprised to find out how many fights break out because of such a cause; especially when it’s about the family. Also, think that during a fight your special one is much more vulnerable to bad things about loved ones and he or she will definetly be hurting from hearing such things. If you care about his/her feelings, you should really refrain from doing this.
4. ‘Told you so’ is wrong
If you were right and things went bad because your advice was not listened, don’t throw it in his/her face; even if this doesn’t seem to be the case, your special one always knows you said so, but in most cases just won’t admit, preferring to just take a mental note. Just have a bit of trust in the person and instead of making a point, try to do something useful and lend some help.
5. Don’t compare
Fights often start because of a careless word that escalades into a way bigger thing. The most common example is when you compare your partner with others; not necessarily your ex-es, but just other people. You can say your man is not as smart as Einstein or your woman is not as beautiful as Monica Belucci, they’ll probably still take it personal, because nobody loves to be compared with others.
Those are just the most common cases of fight starters, but following these advices could be the key to avoiding many couple trouble. But all these represent just a single thing, known since the dawn of civilisation: if you care about your partner, be respectful.