And the reason for my confession is that I learn my lesson
And I really think you ought to know the truth
Because I lied and I cheated and I lied a little more
But after I did it I don’t know what I did it for
I admit that I have been a little immature
~Black Eyed Peas – Don’t lie~
I try to be as sincere as I can and I strongly believe that sincerity is the key for solving most of humanity’s problems. If only Adam hadn’t lied to God … or for the ones less religious, if only politicians wouldn’t lie so much!
But there are too many complicated situations to tell only the truth. You have to be diplomat, not to hurt the people you love or to get that raise that will allow you to buy a new shiny car. So we arrive to dr. House’s “Everybody lies” (you really should watch that show). Yes, but what’s the measure? When to tell the truth and when it’s safe to tell a lie? Another of my strong beliefs is that equilibrium brings us one step closer to happiness. In this case, it’s all about balance between truth and lie.
But you can’t say there’s only truth; there are big lies, lies, little lies, joking, truth, the big truth.
So let’s start with big lies – when do they appear and when they can be used? In very serious situations, let’s call them crisis scenarios, people tend to lie a lot. If you have a big financial problem you’re tempted to hide your situation. Same if you’re about to get a divorce or an abortion. Well, before taking a decision spend some time thinking – the lie will improve the present situation or will make it worse? Sure that if you have had bad luck you can find yourself with some important financial problems and if you’re going to admit this your situation will get worse, but the lie will have positive effects on long term too? Was it bad luck or you have a gambling problem? The most important thing, even when you’re lying to everyone else is to always be honest with yourself. If you’re in trouble, get some help!
Next step is lies. In my opinion this is the most dangerous stage of lying. If you think a bit you’ll remember that when you were a teenager you used to lie to your parents. Sometimes it was necessary but generally … you did it because you were used to do it. Lying is addictive! If before saying a big lie you think a lot, in this stage the lies come naturally, almost as naturally as truth. There aren’t situation when lying is beneficial, so avoid this stage!
Then there are little lies .. so sweet little lies! If you want to go to a concert is safer to say to your parents that you’re going to sleepover at a friend. If you want to get some extra money to your salary it’s enough to compliment your boss. If you want to be alone just don’t answer the phone. In this category you find the omissions too. Generally, little lies are profitable but just don’t overdo it, addiction is bad!
Why did I said that joking is a degree of honesty? Because it’s easier to say the truth when you’re joking. Let’s face it, you tell a lie when you want to gain something or when you’re to embarrassed to say the truth. Well, here’s the space for joking. When you’re sure that your friend will make a fool out of himself/herself wearing that clothes it’s easier to say joyfully “my my, but today isn’t a party at the office. why did you get dressed like this?” . You can always find something funnier, I think my humor’s muse isn’t here now. Well, saying it funnier will save you from a fight and it’s nicer than saying “you really don’t look good in that”.
And than there’s truth. I consider the truth the best stage of all. If you have the guts to say it always you’re going to be appreciated for your qualities. Of course that not everybody can accept the truth but the most people will accept it and will love you for being sincere. In relationships is better to use the truth even if you or your significant other will be hurt. It will hurt less than the lies and that’s the only way to remain together.
The last stage is the big truth. That’s a little more special; it’s not for everybody, but only for the people you care about. When you’re about to make some important decisions in your life, that is the moment to talk about big truths. You want to move away from the country? You want to start a business? It’s the moment to talk it over with a good friend in order to make sure that you make the right decisions. The big truths are only about you and your important changes in your life. Pick someone special to talk and say it. You’ll feel a strange relief.
P.S. I’ve got the impression that I talked more about lies than about truth. I was honest though…