Here we are! – how to live in a collectivity

People, when things go wrong
As they sometimes will
And the road you travel
It stays all uphill
Let’s work together
~Canned heat~

Spending six or seven hours five days a week in a group of 20 or even more people can prove to be a little tricky sometimes as conflicts become something regular. Especially as we grow up, they tend to become more complex and relations can be easily influenced in a negative way. Of course, sometimes you feel that you can’t take it any more. It’s normal, but remember that by having the right attitude from the beginning, you will find the hours you spend with the others pleasant and even relaxing.
1. When you are new in a group the best thing you can do is to meet the others, begin a conversation and introduce yourself. Still, try not to exaggerate and try to spend the first days noticing what the others like end dislike before getting too personal. Try to learn something about them before offending anyone by mistake. Try to keep the conversation neutral!
2. Everyone has their own role in a group. One can be the clown, another one the hard-worker and so on. Try to be as balanced as possible and to create an image of yourself. You mustn’t expose very much, but try not to create a fake image of yourself; it won’t work. If you are not the party starter don’t try to act like one, it’s ok. This is who you are and you should not try to change it or lie about it.

3. It’s a very good idea to help the others as this will gain you respect and friendship. However, don’t exaggerate! Some homework from time to time, a little help on a project is enough. Don’t get yourself in the situation of working for more people. This will attract the opposite effect as the others will treat you well only to receive some help.
4. A beautiful friendship can easily start in a collectivity. However, don’t start sharing your secrets or opinions about the boss the first time you go out with someone. Also, don’t talk about the things you hear from the others. Find a balance between the authority (teachers, bosses) and your workmates. Don’t tell on your classmates or colleagues because this will not attract respect from anyone! Still, don’t make any comments or negative reactions towards the authority just in order to impress the others.
5. Small gestures can make real wonders! A small gift on someone’s birthday, a smile on the hall, a compliment (which should not be fake!) all these can strengthen the relations you have with the people you work or study with. Try to ignore the others’ defects as much as possible. You should always avoid conflicts especially when there is no serious reason, in order to avoid stress and fights. And if they start try to end them as soon as possible. There is no need to complicate your life like this.
So, in the end, it’s all about finding a balance and respecting the people around you. By doing this, be sure that you will receive the same treatment. Maybe it’s not so hard to live in a collective after all!

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