People, when things go wrong
As they sometimes will
And the road you travel
It stays all uphill
Let’s work together
~Canned heat~

Spending six or seven hours five days a week in a group of 20 or even more people can prove to be a little tricky sometimes as conflicts become something regular. Especially as we grow up, they tend to become more complex and relations can be easily influenced in a negative way. Of course, sometimes you feel that you can’t take it any more. It’s normal, but remember that by having the right attitude from the beginning, you will find the hours you spend with the others pleasant and even relaxing.
1. When you are new in a group the best thing you can do is to meet the others, begin a conversation and introduce yourself. Still, try not to exaggerate and try to spend the first days noticing what the others like end dislike before getting too personal. Try to learn something about them before offending anyone by mistake. Try to keep the conversation neutral!
2. Everyone has their own role in a group. One can be the clown, another one the hard-worker and so on. Try to be as balanced as possible and to create an image of yourself. You mustn’t expose very much, but try not to create a fake image of yourself; it won’t work. If you are not the party starter don’t try to act like one, it’s ok. This is who you are and you should not try to change it or lie about it.
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You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay cuz you’re only human
You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay you’ll soon get strong enough
~Nelly Furtado~

Many people complain about having a phobia, but in reality, what they experience is a simple fear caused by the preservation instinct. A phobia is much more than this, as it’s irrational and can affect one’s life completely. But no matter how severe a phobia is, it’s not impossible to cure. However, this is not a matter of medication, as their effect lasts only for a short period of time, it’s a matter of will and of knowing yourself.
Although there are strange fears such as the fear of snow, clocks, numbers or sitting which are less frequent, other fears such as the fear of being ridiculed, social phobias or the fear of failure can be found in many individuals.

The Fear of Crowds And Open Spaces (Agoraphobia)

It is experienced by quite a lot of people and even more claim to feel bad physically in such situations. It manifests itself through nausea, sickness and trembling but also psychologically through an unexplainable and very strong fear of traveling alone in a plane or bus or even of crossing a street or a bridge. Does this situation sound familiar? Don’t be ashamed! Therapy is not for mad people so don’t be afraid to talk to a specialist as soon as you’ve acknowledged you have a problem. Moreover, don’t let the others pamper you, so try to travel alone, at first on small distances and then more and more. It’s not impossible to fight your own fears! This fear can also be caused by childhood experiences so finding the exact cause can also help! (more…)

A guest post by Shilpan Patel, from success soul

If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap. If you want happiness for a day — go fishing. If you want happiness for a month — get married. If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.
- Chinese Proverb

While driving on the highway, I stumbled upon a billboard that read, “Be happy now”. I, for a moment, felt jolt of happiness in my body. It was inexplicable but the feeling was real.
I pondered along the way about happiness and its sources. Where it comes from? I started feeling nostalgic. My mind started wandering into the past in an intense search for the traces of happiness. It was exhilarating thought to find the roots of happiness that lie nowhere but in my own thoughts and the ability to react to different circumstances.
I have a habit of writing a journal. The journal tracks my life. It tracks my setbacks, it tracks my success and it certainly tracks my happy days. I went through the journal to capture the lessons of happiness that I can share with you.

Lesson # 1: Make someone happy:
A successful surgeon practices surgery daily; a successful lawyer practices law daily. To become happy, you need to make someone happy. Engage in random acts of kindness. Try to serve others with your time and money. Making someone happy makes you selfless. I have always felt happy when I do not expect any return for the service I rendered. It always makes my day fulfilling.

Lesson # 2: Become debt free:
Debt is an imprisonment to our happiness. It shackles our ability to think and pursue true happiness. Imagine if you are living by paycheck to paycheck, it is hard to have anytime for things that bring happiness when you have to work to make money to pay debt without any relief. You can cut out fat from your spending to work towards paying off your debt. If you start living life of simplicity, you will accentuate your freedom from the debt-ridden life.

Remember, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think.
- Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) American writer.

Lesson # 3: Choose to be positive:
Our ability to choose our thoughts allows us to think positively. If we learn how to replace self-limiting thoughts with affirmations, we develop habit of positive thinking. For instance, replace self-limiting thought of - “I do not have enough time to enjoy time with my family.” with “I have plenty of time to spend time with my family”.

Lesson # 4: Be transparent:
I constantly remind myself that to earn trust from friends and family, I have to remain transparent about my actions. I have to show honesty and sincerity in the pursuit of happiness to get support from my alter ego. I have to show her that I’m committed to her pursuit of happiness as much as I’m to mine. Develop transparency with the attitude of showing all your cards to others involved in your life. They will in turn show you their cards; together everyone wins.

Lesson # 5: Live a simple life:
The modern day life is an entangled web of complexity. We live with cell phones, laptops, and pagers. These devices are convenient and they definitely add flexibility to work anywhere in the world. However, we pay steep price for these conveniences. We clutter our minds with information overload. We tend to ignore our inner voice of simplicity to feel true happiness. We tend to ignore the pristine value of our time with family; we definitely ignore the pearls of joy in sharing our laughter with our children. I’m not advocating that we give up on our pursuit of the burning desire, I’m suggesting that we shall always be mindful about de-cluttering our physical as well as mental space to live for a happy, fulfilling life.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Preeminent leader of Indian nationalism.

Photo Courtesy of Smugmug

Everybody wants to be a showman
Yeah they all got another one
Everybody thinks they got a genius
Everybody got me on the run
~Kings of Leon~

Not everyone can be a genius like Einstein or Thomas Edison, but certainly all of us can use their methods to train our minds and to create the best plans for our future. The following 8 simple strategies will help you increase your productivity and to find better solutions to problems faster as they are similar to the ones used by geniuses in art, industry and science throughout history.

1. Try to see a problem in more than just one way!

Find new perspectives no one else thought about before. Leonardo da Vinci used this method as he thought that the first perspective is always subjective. So be original! Don’t be afraid to find new solutions and to have a different vision about something. Different is not similar to wrong!

2. Visualize!

Photo by Seeding-Chaos

Einstein used diagrams to solve problems as he didn’t think words and numbers were relevant in the process of thinking. So grab a pencil or just close your eyes and use your imagination. The answer might be just there.

3. Be productive!

Thomas Edison is known to have created more than 1000 inventions most of them useless. In fact, most great inventors did the same thing; however, they were not afraid of failure or mediocrity and this helped them succeed. So why not doing the same thing? There is nothing to lose!

4. Combine ideas and solutions!

As Gregor Mendel discovered the laws of heredity by combining Maths and Biology you can also improve your work by using all your knowledge and even the most unlikely solutions!

5. Create connections!

Photo by schaaflicht

Da Vinci made a connection between the sound of a bell and a stone hitting the water. This way he discovered the existence of sound waves. You may not discover a groundbreaking invention, but even the smallest discoveries can bring great rewards…so why not give it a try?

6. Use opposition!

Photo by niznoz

The physician Niels Bohr would bring together mentally opposing elements and then he would cancel his reason, thus discovering new perspectives. By using this method, your mind will go to another level of understanding.

7. Think metaphorically! Aristotle thought that someone who could perceive the similarities between two separate areas of existence and bring the together is someone special. So save some time and look at the world around you with in a different way. Who knows what can come up?

8. Manage your failure! Don’t let everything disappoint you, but try to analyze the situation and to understand what went wrong in order to improve your future attempts. This will help you be successful and more mature.

The thing is you have to understand that you must become the change you want to see. So why not change the way you work and think about problems? It will make your life better, it will make you feel better, so go for it. Bring out the genius in you!

Photo by pyza

Photo by carloseduravier

Get ur freak on
Headbanger.. hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me

Missy Elliot ~ Get ur freak on ~

Nobody (or almost nobody) likes to study; I know I don’t. But it’s something we have to do, it’s a natural and necessary part of our development as human beings, not just for your school or carreer. But just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it has to become a drag; no way! You can make it acceptable at least, perhaps even rewarding. Studying should become a decent activity, here’s what you should do.

1. Understand studying!

Picture by sosarem

Learning is an unpleasant activity not just because it feels like you’re wasting your time or stuff like that; in most cases, it’s a subconscious response. That’s just a clever way of saying that your brain thinks studying is bad. Why? Well because of our society; when parents punish their kids, they often make them study. Also, the feeling that it’s too hard or pointless can actually make it pointless. If you want to learn something, you have to make yourself understand that first. Once you understand that you have to finish this and you stop kidding yourself, you’re half way there.

2. Learn the right things!

Photo by sidereal
So you’ve motivated yourself, you want to do this, you’ve got the right attitude… what now? Make sure you have the right books, reference, whatever, and put them in the right order. Learning things in the correct order will actually speed things up. Sounds like a paradox? Not really. It’s just common sense; do it the wrong way and nothing will catch, and you’ll just waste a lot of time. Go back to 1. if that’s the case. Also, if you’re using the Internet, be careful, cause there’s a lot of wrong or partial information. Use the big boys (Wikipedia, Britannica, etc)for a bit more safety, but even there you’ll find some small mistakes. So be careful with the learning material.

3. Learn the right way!

Photo by chotda

So you have the attitude, you have the learning material and still not learning? Well if the TV’s on and the dog’s barking there and that kind of stuff… it’s really understandable. You need to find that learning place, that is different for different people. Whether it’s quiet or filled with music, bright or darker, there should be no distractions (window, TV, pet, etc). Also, try to estimate your time - a realistic approach. If you don’t have enough time…

4. Turn useless time into productive time!

Photo by un4gtableann

Useless time can actually be… useful. Good all around tips here, but for studying, it’s a bit different. You should especially pay attention to time used for transportation and bath time. When you’re on the bus or other ways of transportation, try and do a quick recap (which by the way is really important) or read something new. When you’re taking a bath, do a light read or something; nothing too big, because this way it won’t spoil your relaxation. Also if you want to gain more time, you should know yourself. Know what’s good for you, how you can focus, things like that. It’s important that you find your own way of studying. Make notes, write down the most important ideas, listen to music, whatever gets you going. Also, it’s really important to know if your auditive memory is better than your visual memory. If it is, it’s definetly a good idea to read the stuff out loud, record it, and then listen to it. This can be a good idea even if it’s not (you can apply it on the bus).

5. Finish things up!

Photo by Fort Photo

Even when you feel like you’re making progress, you have to do things all the way, otherwise it’s your loss. Even if it feels like you know bits and pieces and you can put them together when needed, you shouldn’t rely on that. Also, don’t delay everything until the last moment, that won’t get you very far. Start things right, work your way to the top, and be careful at the finish. That’s what the champions do.

“Talk to me, show some pity
You touch me in many, many ways
But I’m shy can’t you see”

~Sonata arctica ”Shy”~

Have you given up many times because of your shyness? Have you ever lost opportunities because you were simply afraid to ask? About 80% of us would probably answer “yes” as a study shows. However, this fear of attracting attention can be healed by having a strong will and by understanding that it is impossible to succeed without the other’s help.
A shy person can be seen by others as boring, unfriendly or weak so why not change your attitude to prove them that you can be a great friend and a valuable workmate? Get out of your shell!
1. It might be hard at first but try to change your way of thinking into a positive one. Be relaxed and even if someone makes you feel uncomfortable try to start a conversation. (more…)

‘Cause we were never being boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
And we were never being boring
We dressed up and fought, then thought: “Make amends”
Pet Shop Boys ~Being Boring~

In life, you do things you don’t want to; things you may find useless, unpleasant, or just boring. You may also waste a lot of time when you’re say, taking the bus to school or work, or when you’re cooking or just don’t have what to do at work; and you probably sometimes feel like you just don’t have enough time to finish your work and really need to relax and unwind. The thing is that you have two problems which could solve each other! Sounds really weird, but filling these ‘gaps’ in your day to day time is really important, but mostly underestimated. Here’s what you can do.

1. Take an mp3 player (ipod) or a good book with you.

Photo by D T Photo
Or both! Put them in a small backpack or even in your pocket, it won’t really bother you. This way, whenever you’re don’t have anything really important to do, like cooking or just typing you can start listening to music. Whenever you’re in the bus, you can start reading, or during the lunch break after you’ve eaten. (more…)

So when I’m crying alone
Yeah, when I’m cold as a dying stone
Grow me a garden of roses
Paint me the colors of sky and rain
~Poets of the fall - Roses~

Credits photo

Many of our male readers know that flowers are useful - best present someone could give ( flowers never get old fashion) and they are (more…)

This is all so beautiful
But how much of this will really be
Enough to keep me on my feet
~Rachael Lampa - The Art~

Art therapy is a form of expressive therapy that uses art materials, combining traditional psychotherapeutic theories and techniques with a subtler, more modern way of getting rid of your psychological and even physical problems. Also it’s a favorite of more and more people because you can do it at home, with your friends or family or alone, it’s fun and you train certain skills. It’s especially good for teenagers, people in their 40s, junkies and really stressed out people, but it has shown incredible results for just about everybody who tried it.

Image by Petra
The point of it is not directly to paint, but rather to know yourself better and to understand your most inner feelings, in a liberating and fun gesture. It doesn’t matter if you can’t paint or never painted at all, the only important thing is to be yourself and to try to express what you feel through lines, shapes and colours. You don’t need words to express yourself, and this is a great example. After you’ve finished a painting, take a look at it and say out loud what you think it means; then take a small break and think if it actually means that in your case. (more…)

“it’s just me and my puppy
together were so very happy
and a bit of world won’t bring us down
i’m looking on the bright side of things”
  ~Lissie~

A study made by the University of Yale shows that optimism can grow your life expectancy with at least seven years. Optimism decreases the effects stress has on people and improves their balance, both physically and mentally. And changing your mood is not difficult at all!
1. Chat! Gossip can prove to be very useful in some situations. Chatting with your friends and family helps you create a “social web”. Studies show that sociable people are more likely to live happily ever after. Phone chats have useful effects on brain activity and blood circulation. A long-lasting friendship can worth as much as not smoking or being active. It’s also important to meet your friends in person. Phone calls are useful, but not enough!
2. Dear diary…The benefits of keeping a diary are well-known. It’s important not only to talk about what makes you unhappy, but also about the good moments, even about the small pleasures of life. Studies show that the people who are grateful for everything that happens to them are more satisfied and tend to be physically stronger. You can write in your diary once a week or just from time to time. What is important is not to regard this as another duty.
3. Be generous! Generosity increases the level of happiness hormones. You don’t have to give valuable items, just make unplanned surprises to acquaintances and to strangers. Offer your bus seat or give some food to a hungry homeless man. You will feel much better about yourself and the others’ gratefulness will make you feel appreciated. “Generosity has therapeutical effects” as scientists often claim. So why not help yourself by helping the others?
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