What to learn from the past

The past keeps haunting us whether we like it or not and we come across things that happened years and years ago in our grandparents’ stories, in more or less interesting history lessons or in our own memories. Sometimes we all feel that some things would have better been forgotten especially when we are criticized but some other times we find many good examples while looking back.

So, does history always tend to repeat or it just teaches us some lessons, and if it’s so what is it that we should learn?

  1. Family life

In the past (more or less distant) children were supposed to obey their parents totally, many times because of fear and over-imposed respect. They had the main decisional role in their life until they got married and even after that. Parents were many times the ones to decide who their children were going to marry, and their word was more important than the bride’s or the groom’s.

Does it look grim? Indeed, we could find some of these not quite acceptable now. However, there are a lot of things that today’s family has lost. Even though relations between children and parents are no longer based on a nearly-religious fear they are tensed because the notion of respect has solely remained a notion. And how about the family itself? How long is it since you’ve seen your uncle, cousins or grandparents? If you’re among the lucky ones it’s been a few days or maybe weeks, but in many cases years pass before relatives see each other. Families don’t even eat together now.

What to learn?

What we have now is more ways of communication. This should allow us to return at least a bit to the extended family that used to exist in the past. The modern man needs affection maybe more than before because of the fast-pacing life we have now and keeping relatives at distance will surely bring many disadvantages. So grab your phone at birthdays or on the holidays period or at least send a few e-cards!

We have the possibility of making our own decisions now. But are we doing this correctly? Many of us refuse any kind of advice or warning related to our personal life, friends, money or education, many times leading to unpleasant repercussions. Listening to advice was something the young people in the past used to do much more than we do, this also being a proof of respect. Don’t you think we need more of that now?

What we all should know is that no matter how much we evolve and what new inventions we come up with, family will remain a centre around which we gravitate and we should never forget who we are and were we come from.

  1. Work

Work has changed a great deal in the last years as machines have replaced handwork and computers have become almost impossible to live without. Work used to be quite unpleasant in the past as there were endless work hours every week without help and usually in harsh conditions. Education was accessible to only the privileged so the others had few chances of reaching far. Many of us would certainly have trouble adjusting to such conditions.

So, is there anything to learn from these spine-chilling descriptions of work in the past?

The answer is yes.

At that time people could not afford to waste time doing nothing or just gossiping. Work was hard, families had to be fed, so they were rather more interested in making their work easier.

So you should be at least a bit thankful for the work you do now even if you could do better. Stop listening to all nonsense and little office conspiracies. It would be absolutely great if people used their energy in order to create and no to destroy.

Life is much more than the new convertible your boss bought or the fur coat you saw yesterday (they do terrible things to animals to make that coat anyway so it would be better if it stayed in the shop). Learn to enjoy what you have, to set a goal, to be kinder to your workmates and count your blessings at least from time to time.

  1. Spirituality

Our ancestors used to go to church every holiday and all their life was practically based on their religion on a way or another. Wars were started, rulers were born, lives were taken, all starting from people’s beliefs. Everything was a sign, obedience was demanded.

Since the deeply-religious times the world has changed and science has begun to be more and more important and less regarded as a blasphemy. Religion is still highly-priced and most of the planet embraces a religion in a way or another. But have we lost our peace?

What to do?

Nowadays everyone has a choice: whether or not to believe and if the answer is yes how much to involve. Even though we see religion taken way too far every day we turn on the TV, prayers or some kind of spiritual activity is known to have a positive effect on one’s mental health and stress level.

Even though our ancestors would not ask many questions and even created the Inquisition, they had some very good values which governed their conduct.

Many of those tend to fade nowadays, so a little meditation and check on our behavior would do nothing but good.

Believer or not, everyone needs some time to ask themselves some questions and to set a goal, other than buying a new house or seeing the boss fired.

So, the past can definitely teach us how not to repeat some mistakes and how to use what we have now as best as we can. Making a new mistake will teach us more than repeating the old ones.

The lost art of avoiding and handling conflicts

Our relations with the others seem to do nothing but to make our existence complicated and stressful. We all must admit we are practically fighting over the most meaningless things in the world as negotiation seems to have become a lost art. However hard it is, you should learn that it is better to give up sometimes and that you may not always be right.

But, if a conflict still occurs remember that the best way to solve is through empathy. Imagine you are in the other’s position and decide whether it is worth or not to go on discussing the issue. Take the others’ arguments into consideration too and you will manage to handle every kind of situation easily.

At work- a lot of conflicts are caused by one’s job as there are a lot of factors which, combined with the high level of stress lead to strong disagreements from time to time. So what do you do when someone tries to get your post or if you are overlooked for promotion no matter how much you have worked? Definitely, the first thing that comes into your mind is to go and tell a couple of things to them. However, as long as the other’s actions do not affect you there is not point in doing that; you can also compromise your position by starting a fight at work. What you can do is to have a very relaxed attitude, do your best at work and show everyone that that job is yours to keep. By showing not to care at all about anything negative happening around you will gain points and look more professional.

If your boss is the problem and you think his treatment is unfair towards you or others you have every right in the world to complain. However, be sure that you can support your accusations and that you can point out on some real problems. Be calm and don’t forget that your boss is still an authority! In more serious cases you can ask for advice from a lawyer to be sure that you do the right thing.

And if someone broke your favorite cup or spoilt the perfect order of your files don’t make a fuss about it! That person probably feels bad enough about it! One simple discussion should be enough. As about gossip, don’t let that get to you. Comments are part of every successful person’s life.

At home – one’s home should be a peaceful place to relax. However fights occur very often in most families as gathered stress from work, frustrations and insufficient time spent together can easily make someone lose their temper. Family conflicts are very hard to handle many times as they are not always based on rational reasons and strong feelings and suffering are involved. So what should you do?

Parents and children: the generation gap has always brought a whole lot of discussions whether about music, lifestyle or friends. What you should know is that your parents only want the best for you, so, even if they may seem a little (or extremely) exaggerated don’t make a tragedy out of it. Of course, nobody likes to be told what friends to have or who to go out with but before starting to shout, think it over. They may be right as they can see things you just don’t. And if they are just trying to protect you, discuss calmly and explain your reasons for making a certain choice ( even though a huge tattoo on your arm may not be very easy to explain). Accept compromise even if you don’t like it. Prove to them that you can be responsible and you can think for yourself and most important, don’t offend them or tell unpleasant things. You will regret it later!

Couple affairs: when it comes to couples, matters become even more complicated as one’s feelings can be hurt in many different ways. Shouting, accusing and threatening about you moving back with your mother will not help a relationship but will destroy it. A relationship should always be built on trust and respect so this is why two people should be able to discuss practically every subject without being embarrassed or afraid. Making some time for each other should solve most of the problems, but when having to face others again do your best not to hurt the other. Angry words said during a fight can leave wounds that are hard to heal. So think why your partner might be mad and don’t decide from the start that you are right. Listen and don’t make sudden decisions as regrets will be useless later.

Everywhere – we see people fighting in shops, hotels, in the parking lot, on the street; even if they do not know each other they find a reason or another to start a conflict. Of course, there are a lot of people who show no respect or who lack in experience so they are totally incapable to have a post. What is annoying is that these people appear when you need them the least. But, even if you look at the incompetent clerk in front of you and feel like just hitting him with your umbrella, take a deep breath, be polite and wait. You may be just as annoying in some cases (OK, maybe not as much) and you would not enjoy such behavior. And then, by being calm and respectful you will not make things even harder then they already are!

So, even though many times it’s terribly hard to resist the temptation of just hitting someone remember that there are better solutions for avoiding and managing a conflict. Make your life and the others’ simple and pleasant!

A few things to learn from Don Quixote

He may be one of the most famous characters of all times. He fascinated generations and generations of readers with his extraordinary adventures which existed only in his mind. But who was Don Quixote after all? A skinny old man with a rather peculiar view of the world (just not to call him a little mad). But maybe these characteristics allow him to give us some valuable lessons of life, lessons about being ourselves after all!

Don’t be afraid to be a little different…or maybe more. Don Quixote went out in the world wearing something that looked like an armor and riding maybe the funniest-looking horse in history. He was immune to anything the others would say and to their mockery as he had a goal to reach- to be the best knight ever. There is of course a huge difference between being different and being silly. However, in this uniform world where everyone acts following the same pattern and cares about the same fashions the ones who break the barriers may be the losers but are definitely the ones to remain in history. Don’t break the rules just to show you are tough or a badass, try to break the thought rules, try to change the world to suit you and not to adapt totally to something that does not represent you!

Have some strong values! Don Quixote would fight an army for his beloved one even if he had never seen her. Being faithful and fighting in her name was what interested him most and no matter what beautiful ladies he met, he never ceased to talk about her beauty. Our knight was also in pursuit of justice and could not see people suffering. He even attacks some dolls during an improvised show in order to make justice in the story.

Someone with a strong personality should always find some values to believe in even if he or she takes them from religion, moral law or just from their soul. It’s a matter of making good decisions and treating the others correctly. Unfortunately we cannot be superheroes even if there are a lot of villains everywhere around us. However, every little thing we do can change the world.

Don’t forget about your innocence! Don Quixote lived like a child seeing things just the way children do when playing. A flock of sheep was a great army, some windmills were terrible giants. An ugly servant girl with not so great moral values was one of the noblest ladies. So why not do something similar? Try to see the beauty and the good aspects of everything, try to become so optimistic that your friends will get mad! (Ok, maybe not that much). Transform your dull life by firstly working at your mind’s level. Life was not meant to be dull, we make it like that, so go to parks, to funfairs, take a ride in a rollercoaster, go run with some friends and have a leaf fight! Have a hot coco in the evenings and watch a children’s movie especially as the ones made nowadays are some truly something. Don’t be ashamed and don’t hide your inner child! We all miss being talked off for entering the house dirty.

Rediscover literature (if you haven’t already). Don Quixote did not have many possibilities to read but he took advantage of everything he could find spending his entire fortune on volumes filled with the adventures of the greatest knights in the world.

Nowadays we have so many possibilities to enjoy literature that one can hardly resist. Nothing stimulates language development and imagination like reading does. Live with your favorite heroes, hold your breath when something bad happens to them and enjoy the end of a good book. Reading can help you see the world in another way as it shows you how others great thinkers used to see it before you. Fly to places you’ve never been before and strengthen your mind. This is how great ideas can come to your mind and proves to be one of the best pastimes ever invented by people. Get to know Don Quixote right from the source!

Don’t let failure discourage you! When Don Quixote was defeated by another knight returned home saddened but no matter what happened he did not give up. One time he even decided to make a switch of plans and thought about becoming a shepherd together with his friend Sancho Panza. Until his end he kept his attitude positive.

So this is why you should remember that no matter how tough life can get there are always solutions and something good will happen in the end. If you feel like you’ve lost your direction then maybe there is another way. It’s just like Columbus did: when asked to place an egg in balance on a knife’s blade he hit it to it, thus cracking it. However, it was balanced. Maybe the solution to your problem is near. Or maybe a dramatic change is needed. Think it over: if being a shepherd brings your happiness then do it!

So in the end what do we have? A book, a man, a legend and a whole lot to learn from it.

Decisive choices: the college that suits you

When going to college you know that you are choosing, in most cases, your future career. It’s a most important choice and not at all easy to make. But shouldn’t you find what you like and are good at and go there? Had it only been that simple…

In USA a large number of students spend many years going to different courses before actually choosing their major as they can simply not find the answers to the questions mentioned above. But can this process be skipped? The answer is YES, especially as no one likes to waste time and money.

The future career- when we were little, we all wanted to be doctors, astronauts and singers. In time our options can get to change dramatically, but in the end everybody has to make a choice. For those who want to get a college degree it is better to be decided before actually choosing what to study next. This is definitely not a matter of probabilities! Think about your aptitudes, interests, the kind of job you want (active or more office or computer work) and very important, about how much you will be paid. Also take into consideration factors such as your health, the possibility to work abroad or in another region of your country and whether your future job will affect your possibility to start your own family. Already have some ideas?

The natural talent- For some, the decision is quite simple. There are definitely some of you who have made a religion out of a subject, who have some specials aptitudes such as working with children or web designing, or who are very talented when it comes to some type of art. When having such a gift it is quite easy to make a choice and can consider yourself to be quite lucky. But, in some cases your future job may not be considered as useful or well-paid as others and some may want to convince you to give up your dream. Carefully consider all pieces of advice before deciding as stubbornness will not help you. Still, in most cases, it’s better to do what you like and to continue your studies thinking about how much you worked and studied in a certain domain; it’s not all about money! You don’t want to become a psychiatrist’s most important client, do you?

Information is power! Learn everything you can about possible future colleges for you to study at. Browse their sites, brochures and better than that, if possible, try to go and assess the situation yourself. Get informed about teachers, study conditions, career prospects and also about how much would all cost you as that also proves to be important. Does it suit you? Could it be what you were looking for? However, it is best to get behind the scenes.Talk to students (it’s even better if you already have some friends there) and find out if the advertisements really present reality. Have the graduates found good jobs? Are the courses interesting? Is it all worth? Students tend to be really frank about these subjects but be careful about who you ask. Some may just be unable to get to a certain level and blame it all on the university.

Ask for an opinion- parents, friends, teachers, classmates, they can all influence you quite a lot when making your decision. Doing everything on your own can sound quite tempting but in reality it’s better to know other views just as well. All parents want the best for their children, but of course, they can overreact. Inheriting the family’s chicken farm may not be what you want or maybe the idea of being a surgeon like your fathers scares you to death. However, maybe it’s not just mum that can’t understand my art, maybe I have no talent. Decide what is logical and what is just proof of affection in what your parents tell you, and don’t exclude them. Discuss and act like a real family!

Friends are also good to talk to as they will tell you sincerely that you should start thinking about something else as you could cut a person’s wrong foot as a doctor. If you’ve heard this some other time, maybe they have a point… They will also want to have you close, but don’t make a choice solely thinking about that. You will definitely make new friends and keeping in contact is piece of cake now!

You’d better not rely on people who heard about graduates making their living as taxi drivers or that you would have to pay enormous sums for passing your exams. Unfounded rumors are to be ignored when making a decision.

What to choose. Some universities are much better than others, but they may be too far from home, too expensive or in a city where you don’t know anyone. Should you choose one that has more benefits from these points of view or should you go to the top? Apply to both and also apply for a scholarship if you have good grades. If the top university accepts you and if you feel ready to face a great challenge and not only concerning study, try to go there. There are many jobs available for students and you may give it a try. However you cannot risk when money and your future career may be affected, so don’t be stubborn and don’t forget the fact that one can study in another university too if there’s enough good will.

So, in the end what is more to say than may you make the best choice!

7 role models from the animal world

The shallowness of the world can bring discouragement and frustration to many. Not succeeding or just finding it difficult to have a purpose in life can easily bring you down. You’re looking for ideas. Most role models prove to be exactly the opposite of what they claim to be, so where is the key? Maybe looking just a little further may give you the necessary impulse. Discover new values within yourself!

1. ELEPHANT

Elephants are known to live in groups which are lead by an elder female. The babies are practically raised together with no discrimination and if one of them hurts his or her leg for example the whole group will walk slower with no complaints. Elephant families are also famous for adopting lost or orphan babies and especially for returning to their old cemeteries.

Family- Most of us consider it to be the most important value of all but not everyone actually takes this idea further. A stressful, time-consuming job, some new prospects, the lack of time, the competition… Family life has changed in the last years quite dramatically especially in the powerfully industrialized cities. Many young people even refuse to start their own family for the reasons mentioned above. But is it all worth the effort? Neglecting your family can have severe effects for everyone involved especially from a psychological point of view. With a little respect, affection and…time just for a short visit or a phone call you can get rid of depression, loneliness and sadness also bringing joy to the ones you care about. Also married people are known to live more and they are more likely to have a stable life. Give it a second thought! It’s not necessarily about legalizing but about offering and receiving affection!

2. DOG

Dogs can create remarkable bonds with their human masters which seem to pass beyond the instinct limit as many times dogs endangered their lives to save someone. There are numerous cases when faithful dogs returned to their owners after traveling hundreds and hundreds of miles or when the death of the master meant the end of the animal as well.

Friendship-next to family is considered one of the most important elements in one’s life as these relationships influence practically every life aspect: spare time, work, way of thinking, the choices to make. Investing in friendship is highly beneficial, of course when the other person does just the same. A lasting friendship brings the best out of someone as it involves deep affection, the unique opportunity to confide without a care, to receive advice from another point of view and also to feel safe and relaxed. Many people all around the world claim to feel alone most of the time but this happens ion most cases because today’s lifestyle can easily affect one’s social skills and even desire to bond. However, investing in what you have or just discovering the ones around you will bring you more benefits than just some time spent in front of the PC.

3. ALBATROSS

The albatross is a sea bird which is known to live as much as 50 years which is remarkable for a bird. But what is the most remarkable is the fact that these birds are monogamous which made them a symbol for sailors traveling far away.

Fidelity- a subject all like to joke about but few actually prefer to take it seriously. We’ve all heard stories from the tragic ones to the most hilarious but the reality behind them may not be as entertaining. Usually in these situations this is a sign that the couple has a serious problem which is definitely not solved the right way. Infidelity is a source of distress for everyone involved leading to negative psychological effects such as guilt, underestimating, frustration, lack of confidence in anyone, adaptation problems. It’s always been there and will probably never disappear. However, putting fidelity behind a glass and calling it unreachable is not where we want to be.

4. PUFFIN

Puffins are sea birds which lay their eggs on cliffs in order not to be eaten by predators. However, when the babies hatch they prepare for a long journey to the beach. When the time comes to follow their parents, they jump from a remarkable height, most of them arriving safe on the beach.

Courage- Desiring is human…but daring? Taking a decision, most of the times risky, is something many would not rather do. Asking for a raise, leaving home for a college abroad, talking about your feelings- not easy. But the torment of deciding what to do is nothing compared to the regret of missing a once in a lifetime opportunity because of fear. We hear of people who could have done so much and so well but were afraid, everyday. The ones who take the tough decisions are on the front page of the newspapers. So when you truly have a feeling that this may be the right decision, analyze the situation (making quick decisions without thinking is not the best thing to do) take a deep breath and go for it. It may be the right thing.

5. SALMON

Salmon

Salmons travel thousands and thousands of miles to get to the rivers they began their lives in. Many never reach their goal, but the ones who do offer the new generation the chance to make the same journey.

Perseverance- Once you’ve made the decision don’t give up on it immediately because of a reason or another! People giving up is a problem maybe not many take into consideration when they should. Many things, some very important remain unfinished just because giving up seems a very attractive alternative. Continuous effort is however the key in many cases as luck rarely strikes. Leaving behind the idea, value or impulse is what causes these things to happen. A few difficulties, some bad comments and it’s hard to go on. And still what if others gave up on their dreams or plans? Would the world still be the same now? Of course, being a Don Quixote is something totally undesirable. Be sure that it’s worth fighting for!

6. Wolf

Wolves are strong and resistant animals, being able to hunt various types of prey. However, a wolf knows that hunting in packs is the key towards reaching a bigger lunch. When hunting together, wolves can even kill a 500 kilo-moose, which is 10 times bigger than any of them and capable of putting tremendous fight.

Teamwork – Trusting your own powers and involving in various activities is something everyone is recommended to do. But only to rely on yourself may not be the best solution. More heads means more ideas. Of course, it’s normal to want to achieve glory and maximum of results by yourself; however, history was rarely changed by just a person, there were definitely others by his or her side. Jealousy can also be there. Still, working like this will show you that you cannot be the best at everything but that collective effort is the key to the problem. So, work with others to achieve a goal, share ideas, give a hand! The results will worth making a change. But teamwork is not just about work and school, it is about your spare time too: socialize, interact, be part of a group! What would sports be without it? Or how would any humanitarian action be successful? Maybe there is some truth in those old sayings…

7. Golden-fronted Bowerbird

One of the most impressing mating rituals belongs to a species of birds from the rain forest and concerns a special care for beauty, called the Golden-fronted Bowerbird. Every male builds some kind of presentation tent where he puts all the beautiful things he can find especially blue things and arranges them so that they will attract a female. The ladies come, analyze what they see and many times are not satisfied so that the males have to start working again until it’s perfect.

Beauty- it fascinates each and every one of us, we have to admit it. Finding and admiring the real beauty can be one of the most amazing things to do. The beauty is everywhere, in nature, in the people around us, in our homes. Becoming more attentive to details, having higher standards, improving the way you see the world is what you should do. Beauty is not a shallow value as long as it is appreciated correctly. Find the beauty around you and enjoy it, learn to smile at all the small things around you like a walk in the evening while the sun sets.

Animals react the way their instinct and senses dictate and still prove to be remarkable role models. Finding the right value in them and using it in real life is what makes people remarkable.

Get Most Out of Life: Be Decisive!

Undecisive
Photo by knigttingskwerlgurl

Our lives are dominated by strings of events, that revolve all around us, as a consequence of anything we do, be it quiting your job for another, taking your daughter to school or just walking on the street. Every kind of activity or action that we undertake, no matter how small or big, has an effect on us and on the people around us. Every action, has a reaction.This unfortunately brings with it a lot of pressure, for most individuals, when faced with a more or less important decision. Fear of consequences clouds their judgment and they soon begin to become indecisive.

Decisions make you powerful, active, focused, and ready to face your day. Indecision makes you procrastinate, lose initiative, gumption, and get up and go. So, in truth, making a good decision isn’t necessarily conditioned by outside variables, like money, other people or events and so on, but rather by your ability to be decisive.

There’s no real secret to becoming a decisive person, after all it’s just a mindset. So if you put your mind to it and keep telling yourself you know what you want from life, you’ll soon start becoming a more decisive person. However, here’s a few tips and techniques that will help you overpass the hump of uncertainty and make you a true leader of your life.

1. Think fast. When faced with a decision, do it fast. Don’t think too much about what might happen after you undertake the respective action. What’s done is done. Small decisions like choosing what to eat for dinner shouldn’t take more then a minute. If you’re faced with a major decision you shouldn’t take more then 10 minute to make it or 1-2 hours when you have to do some information gathering. The more you do it, the faster you’ll become and the more decisive you’ll grow.

2. Believe. Keep telling and believe in yourself that you’re a decisive individual. Don’t denigrate yourself for being indecisive. As long as you have faith in yourself and in your actions, you’ll be able to do things a lot better, and if you happen to fail, you won’t feel too bad about what happens next, because you already minimized the consequences in your head when you took the decision.

3. Be instinctual. Some decisions, no matter how much you think them over, can’t seem to reach a favorable end. The longer you think about them, the more problems and obstacles you’ll find in your path. This is where you have to turn to your natural instincts, to guide you through. Let your gut speak out.

4. Get out of the box. Forget about your preconceptions and fixed ideas about anything in particular. Clarity is extremely important for taking a good decision, so keeping an open mind is a great way to put things into perspective and in term make the best the decision.

5. Don’t be afraid. Earlier in the article I mentioned that the biggest cause for indecisiveness is fear of the consequences. While having reserves before taking an important decision is very natural you shouldn’t let them overwhelm you. Don’t be afraid to make a decision and learn to embrace failure as much as success.

6. Visualize the outcome. Look at yourself from the outside and picture you as a decisive person. How would I act then? Also when faced with a decision, visualize yourself in the completion process and then in the aftermath. Then start asking yourself, like you’ve already taken the decision and completed the task: was it worth my time? did the benefits outweigh the disadvantages? and so on.

7. Be prepare to screw up. Sometimes life takes us into directions we’d wish we never went. A thought of going back in time and taking the road on the left, always crosses our minds, but what’s done is done and you should keep it that way. Such things in life are inevitable, so the first thing you should do when it happens, is not to feel bad about it. Just look at it as a life experience, as a step up in your progression towards a complete life. There’s no such thing as a good or bad decision.

8. Act. Don’t sit on your butt all day, thinking how to act. Be proactive, take the initiative and act without fear of the outcome. Any decision is better then none at all.

One day to defeat your negative feelings

The world seems not the same,
Though I know nothing has changed.
It’s all my state of mind,
I can’t leave it all behind.
Have to stand up to be stronger.
~Within Temptation~

You don’t want to see anyone and you would rather be left alone. Your head spins and a million thoughts storm inside your mind. Maybe everyone should just disappear, maybe everyone is incapable of understanding you, maybe they should all stop judging you and maybe those neighbors should stop with their music! But maybe a new day is what you need to pass over everything…
7:00 Wake up- Be at peace with yourself. A disease, the death of someone close, debts, a bad relationship, the others’ attitude…one of them or even more would be enough to shake anyone’s stability, at least for a while. Hiding your problem or not acknowledging it will do nothing but to make you sadder, mare incapable of communicating with the others and with yourself and will affect your self esteem. Whatever your problem is, it’s absolutely normal to come across a difficulty, so hating yourself or the others won’t bring you absolutely any good. Acknowledging your problem is maybe the most important step.
Continue reading

Fight Your Phobias!

You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay cuz you’re only human
You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay you’ll soon get strong enough
~Nelly Furtado~

Many people complain about having a phobia, but in reality, what they experience is a simple fear caused by the preservation instinct. A phobia is much more than this, as it’s irrational and can affect one’s life completely. But no matter how severe a phobia is, it’s not impossible to cure. However, this is not a matter of medication, as their effect lasts only for a short period of time, it’s a matter of will and of knowing yourself.
Although there are strange fears such as the fear of snow, clocks, numbers or sitting which are less frequent, other fears such as the fear of being ridiculed, social phobias or the fear of failure can be found in many individuals.

The Fear of Crowds And Open Spaces (Agoraphobia)

It is experienced by quite a lot of people and even more claim to feel bad physically in such situations. It manifests itself through nausea, sickness and trembling but also psychologically through an unexplainable and very strong fear of traveling alone in a plane or bus or even of crossing a street or a bridge. Does this situation sound familiar? Don’t be ashamed! Therapy is not for mad people so don’t be afraid to talk to a specialist as soon as you’ve acknowledged you have a problem. Moreover, don’t let the others pamper you, so try to travel alone, at first on small distances and then more and more. It’s not impossible to fight your own fears! This fear can also be caused by childhood experiences so finding the exact cause can also help! Continue reading

Monday again? No problem!

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin’ all of the time
~The Mamas and the Papas~

We all hate Mondays, that’s a fact. Just thinking about this day can cause head aches to any student or to anyone having a job. Maybe this is why this day is the least productive of the whole week. So how about a little change of attitude in order to be more successful?

1. Remember that it’s all in your mind and the way you see this situation affects all your behavior. So don’t spend your Sunday thinking about the fact that you will start work again, that you’ll have classes and that it will be hard to do everything! Be positive and optimistic about it as there is nothing particularly scary about a Monday.

2. Get yourself a head start – knowing that the second part of any Friday isn’t too productive you could use it to make a plan for the following week so that your Monday morning will be less agitated. Then, by cleaning your desk and arranging your papers you will find your Monday start a lot easier and you will improve your work. Continue reading

Smoke free! 10 ways of giving up smoking for good!

Nightmares made of hash dreams, the devil in my shoes
What have I done wrong?
Yeah nothing can go right with me it must be that i’ve been smoking too
Long
~Placebo~

What makes you start smoking again? Anger? Stress? Boredom? Tiredness? The first two are universally known to make people return to this bad habit. Each of these make you want to kill for a smoke, but cigarettes do nothing but to increase stress and to affect your health and even social relations. Learn to handle these situations and not to turn to cigarettes!
1. Take care of yourself! By depriving your body of smoking, assure that it won’t suffer because of this. Try to have a balanced diet and choose healthy, nutritious food. Ask a specialist about what you should eat and about what you should avoid. Fresh fruits and vegetables should help you the most! Give good quality “fuel” to your body and drink more water to be hidrated. Avoid drinks which have too many chemicals as you need to purify your organism. Take vitamins as nicotine has emptied your body of nutrients, in order to recover faster. Still, ask your doctor for a recommendation!
2. Give up caffeine! Drinking coffee in a time like this might make you nervous even angry so try reducing the quantity of coffee you drink every day. Even a simple coke can have unsuspected effects so you may even give up on it totally for a while. These two habits are usually associated so you may gain a lot more by forgetting about both of them!
3. Take a warm bath! It’s an excellent way to relax and to get rid of stress. Add just a little salt and it will be perfect! Relax and think about something pleasant. A little time spent like this everyday may bring even more benefits to both your body and mind.
4. Have a massage! If you can’t go to a specialist or you don’t have the time for that ask a friend or your partner to help you with that. You will also have time for a little chat and you will forget about how much you need a cigarette. Keep this habit in the future too as it’s pleasant and useful. Remember: even 15 minutes can do miracles! Continue reading