Here we are! – how to live in a collectivity

People, when things go wrong
As they sometimes will
And the road you travel
It stays all uphill
Let’s work together
~Canned heat~

Spending six or seven hours five days a week in a group of 20 or even more people can prove to be a little tricky sometimes as conflicts become something regular. Especially as we grow up, they tend to become more complex and relations can be easily influenced in a negative way. Of course, sometimes you feel that you can’t take it any more. It’s normal, but remember that by having the right attitude from the beginning, you will find the hours you spend with the others pleasant and even relaxing.
1. When you are new in a group the best thing you can do is to meet the others, begin a conversation and introduce yourself. Still, try not to exaggerate and try to spend the first days noticing what the others like end dislike before getting too personal. Try to learn something about them before offending anyone by mistake. Try to keep the conversation neutral!
2. Everyone has their own role in a group. One can be the clown, another one the hard-worker and so on. Try to be as balanced as possible and to create an image of yourself. You mustn’t expose very much, but try not to create a fake image of yourself; it won’t work. If you are not the party starter don’t try to act like one, it’s ok. This is who you are and you should not try to change it or lie about it.
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Fight Your Phobias!

You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay cuz you’re only human
You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay you’ll soon get strong enough
~Nelly Furtado~

Many people complain about having a phobia, but in reality, what they experience is a simple fear caused by the preservation instinct. A phobia is much more than this, as it’s irrational and can affect one’s life completely. But no matter how severe a phobia is, it’s not impossible to cure. However, this is not a matter of medication, as their effect lasts only for a short period of time, it’s a matter of will and of knowing yourself.
Although there are strange fears such as the fear of snow, clocks, numbers or sitting which are less frequent, other fears such as the fear of being ridiculed, social phobias or the fear of failure can be found in many individuals.

The Fear of Crowds And Open Spaces (Agoraphobia)

It is experienced by quite a lot of people and even more claim to feel bad physically in such situations. It manifests itself through nausea, sickness and trembling but also psychologically through an unexplainable and very strong fear of traveling alone in a plane or bus or even of crossing a street or a bridge. Does this situation sound familiar? Don’t be ashamed! Therapy is not for mad people so don’t be afraid to talk to a specialist as soon as you’ve acknowledged you have a problem. Moreover, don’t let the others pamper you, so try to travel alone, at first on small distances and then more and more. It’s not impossible to fight your own fears! This fear can also be caused by childhood experiences so finding the exact cause can also help! Continue reading

Monday again? No problem!

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin’ all of the time
~The Mamas and the Papas~

We all hate Mondays, that’s a fact. Just thinking about this day can cause head aches to any student or to anyone having a job. Maybe this is why this day is the least productive of the whole week. So how about a little change of attitude in order to be more successful?

1. Remember that it’s all in your mind and the way you see this situation affects all your behavior. So don’t spend your Sunday thinking about the fact that you will start work again, that you’ll have classes and that it will be hard to do everything! Be positive and optimistic about it as there is nothing particularly scary about a Monday.

2. Get yourself a head start – knowing that the second part of any Friday isn’t too productive you could use it to make a plan for the following week so that your Monday morning will be less agitated. Then, by cleaning your desk and arranging your papers you will find your Monday start a lot easier and you will improve your work. Continue reading

Smoke free! 10 ways of giving up smoking for good!

Nightmares made of hash dreams, the devil in my shoes
What have I done wrong?
Yeah nothing can go right with me it must be that i’ve been smoking too
Long
~Placebo~

What makes you start smoking again? Anger? Stress? Boredom? Tiredness? The first two are universally known to make people return to this bad habit. Each of these make you want to kill for a smoke, but cigarettes do nothing but to increase stress and to affect your health and even social relations. Learn to handle these situations and not to turn to cigarettes!
1. Take care of yourself! By depriving your body of smoking, assure that it won’t suffer because of this. Try to have a balanced diet and choose healthy, nutritious food. Ask a specialist about what you should eat and about what you should avoid. Fresh fruits and vegetables should help you the most! Give good quality “fuel” to your body and drink more water to be hidrated. Avoid drinks which have too many chemicals as you need to purify your organism. Take vitamins as nicotine has emptied your body of nutrients, in order to recover faster. Still, ask your doctor for a recommendation!
2. Give up caffeine! Drinking coffee in a time like this might make you nervous even angry so try reducing the quantity of coffee you drink every day. Even a simple coke can have unsuspected effects so you may even give up on it totally for a while. These two habits are usually associated so you may gain a lot more by forgetting about both of them!
3. Take a warm bath! It’s an excellent way to relax and to get rid of stress. Add just a little salt and it will be perfect! Relax and think about something pleasant. A little time spent like this everyday may bring even more benefits to both your body and mind.
4. Have a massage! If you can’t go to a specialist or you don’t have the time for that ask a friend or your partner to help you with that. You will also have time for a little chat and you will forget about how much you need a cigarette. Keep this habit in the future too as it’s pleasant and useful. Remember: even 15 minutes can do miracles! Continue reading

5 Lessons for a Happy Life

A guest post by Shilpan Patel, from success soul

If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap. If you want happiness for a day — go fishing. If you want happiness for a month — get married. If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.
– Chinese Proverb

While driving on the highway, I stumbled upon a billboard that read, “Be happy now”. I, for a moment, felt jolt of happiness in my body. It was inexplicable but the feeling was real.
I pondered along the way about happiness and its sources. Where it comes from? I started feeling nostalgic. My mind started wandering into the past in an intense search for the traces of happiness. It was exhilarating thought to find the roots of happiness that lie nowhere but in my own thoughts and the ability to react to different circumstances.
I have a habit of writing a journal. The journal tracks my life. It tracks my setbacks, it tracks my success and it certainly tracks my happy days. I went through the journal to capture the lessons of happiness that I can share with you.

Lesson # 1: Make someone happy:
A successful surgeon practices surgery daily; a successful lawyer practices law daily. To become happy, you need to make someone happy. Engage in random acts of kindness. Try to serve others with your time and money. Making someone happy makes you selfless. I have always felt happy when I do not expect any return for the service I rendered. It always makes my day fulfilling.

Lesson # 2: Become debt free:
Debt is an imprisonment to our happiness. It shackles our ability to think and pursue true happiness. Imagine if you are living by paycheck to paycheck, it is hard to have anytime for things that bring happiness when you have to work to make money to pay debt without any relief. You can cut out fat from your spending to work towards paying off your debt. If you start living life of simplicity, you will accentuate your freedom from the debt-ridden life.

Remember, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think.
– Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) American writer.

Lesson # 3: Choose to be positive:
Our ability to choose our thoughts allows us to think positively. If we learn how to replace self-limiting thoughts with affirmations, we develop habit of positive thinking. For instance, replace self-limiting thought of – “I do not have enough time to enjoy time with my family.” with “I have plenty of time to spend time with my family”.

Lesson # 4: Be transparent:
I constantly remind myself that to earn trust from friends and family, I have to remain transparent about my actions. I have to show honesty and sincerity in the pursuit of happiness to get support from my alter ego. I have to show her that I’m committed to her pursuit of happiness as much as I’m to mine. Develop transparency with the attitude of showing all your cards to others involved in your life. They will in turn show you their cards; together everyone wins.

Lesson # 5: Live a simple life:
The modern day life is an entangled web of complexity. We live with cell phones, laptops, and pagers. These devices are convenient and they definitely add flexibility to work anywhere in the world. However, we pay steep price for these conveniences. We clutter our minds with information overload. We tend to ignore our inner voice of simplicity to feel true happiness. We tend to ignore the pristine value of our time with family; we definitely ignore the pearls of joy in sharing our laughter with our children. I’m not advocating that we give up on our pursuit of the burning desire, I’m suggesting that we shall always be mindful about de-cluttering our physical as well as mental space to live for a happy, fulfilling life.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
– Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Preeminent leader of Indian nationalism.

Photo Courtesy of Smugmug

5 Healthy habbits when studying

We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control

~Pink Floyd – Another brick in the Wall~

These days I am kinda busy – you know, exams are close. I think everybody felt at least once that there are too many things to do and the time just isn’t enough, so one post about time management and good practices when studying should be useful.

credits photo

Create a good environment! If you can go to library and stay there it is very good – there you have the motivation and the atmosphere that helps you concentrate better. Of course, there are cases when you can’t use that space – for example if you have something to talk you can’t do it there. Your room can be a good solution too, but here you have more temptations Continue reading

The best decision for both – choosing the perfect dog for you

Oh lord it’s a dogs life
Oh lord it’s a dogs life dogs life
I’m feeling Kinda Irie
It’s bubbling inside me
Straight up it’s a dogs life
~Kottonmouth kings~

Dogs seem to be the perfect animals for every family so maybe it’s time to bring one to your home too! By simply following a few pieces of advice you will get a perfect companion for you and the ones you love.

  • Talk to a veterinarian
  • A specialist can give you the best information you need about certain breeds and can help you make the best choice without being subjective as dog breeders can prove to be. You can also find out about what diseases the breed is most likely to have, and how to prevent and protect against them.

  • Ponder family’s daily routine.
  • Are you or is someone else home frequently enough to feed, walk and take care of the pet? That’s not even half of it – a dog needs to feel loved and wanted, and they’re really dependent on their feelings. Also, think if the animal has enough place to run, and do all those things that if absent, make the dog unhappy.

  • Think about your family, and talk to them!
  • If there are small children in your home, choose a breed that is known to be fond of children preferably not a very large one. Check for allergies, aggressivity, among others. Also, a surprise puppy can be just fantastic, the best present in the world! But if somebody is allergic, or doesn’t like puppies… wouldn’t be that much of a surprise Continue reading

    Different degrees of honesty and one exemple for each

    And the reason for my confession is that I learn my lesson
    And I really think you ought to know the truth
    Because I lied and I cheated and I lied a little more
    But after I did it I don’t know what I did it for
    I admit that I have been a little immature

    ~Black Eyed Peas – Don’t lie~

    I try to be as sincere as I can and I strongly believe that sincerity is the key for solving most of humanity’s problems. If only Adam hadn’t lied to God … or for the ones less religious, if only politicians wouldn’t lie so much!

    VIA

    But there are too many complicated situations to tell only the truth. You have to be diplomat, not to hurt the people you love or to get that raise that will allow you to buy a new shiny car. So we arrive to dr. House’s “Everybody lies” (you really should watch that show). Yes, but what’s the measure? When to tell the truth and when it’s safe to tell a lie? Another of my strong beliefs is that equilibrium brings us one step closer to happiness. In this case, it’s all about balance between truth and lie.

    But you can’t say there’s only truth; there are big lies, lies, little lies, joking, truth, the big truth. Continue reading

    How to spend less on food when traveling

    I need another point of view
    Someplace I’ve never seen
    Keepin’ my eyes wide open
    Goin’ where I’ve never been
    So take me to the highway
    Take me far from here.
    ~Doobie brothers~

    Most travelers discover that the money they give on food may be a lot more than they would have expected. However, these expenses can be easily reduced with a little experience and by following some simple steps.
    1. Get to know your destination very well before actually taking a decision. Only in very expensive regions it worth taking food from home.
    2. Bring nutritive drinks and multivitamins with you as a supplement for a poor diet. They will help you a lot, don’t take very much space and will give you more energy.
    3. Bring your favorite condiments to add them on the food you buy from a store in order to make it tastier and to feel more like home. Continue reading

    8 DONT’s at a business party

    Whoa! I feel nice, like sugar and spice
    I feel nice, like sugar and spice
    So nice, so nice, I got you
    ~James Brown~

    A party at your working place might very well turn out to be really boring. However, it can also be a very good opportunity to have fun or it can be very useful – creating new relationships with coworkers is almost always a good thing. Still, be careful about having TOO much fun; you don’t want to be that drunk guy dancing on the table, nor the girl stripping by the boss! If you’re not sure what to do in order to avoid embarrassing situations, these following tips are definitely a good start:

    1. Don’t drink too much!

    Photo by steele_chas

    Alcohol will make you lose your inhibitions and will change your behavior. Even if you think it can’t affect you a glass of wine or a cocktail should be enough. Remember, perception is everything so you should not create a bad impression about yourself!

    2. Be careful about interactions!

    Even if a party might show you another side of your colleagues, try to ignore the new feelings as they can lead to disaster! Also try not to act provocative in order to be respected. If you’re in a … really good relationship with a coworker of the opposite sex, displaying yourself at your workplace is not something you’d want to do, especially at a party.

    3. Don’t wear provocative clothes!

    If you would not wear something on another occasion then don’t wear it now. Be elegant and try to attract attention only by your style and not by bad taste. Also, especially for women, provocative clothes at business parties always create an unwanted image for you. Continue reading