The lost art of avoiding and handling conflicts

Our relations with the others seem to do nothing but to make our existence complicated and stressful. We all must admit we are practically fighting over the most meaningless things in the world as negotiation seems to have become a lost art. However hard it is, you should learn that it is better to give up sometimes and that you may not always be right.

But, if a conflict still occurs remember that the best way to solve is through empathy. Imagine you are in the other’s position and decide whether it is worth or not to go on discussing the issue. Take the others’ arguments into consideration too and you will manage to handle every kind of situation easily.

At work- a lot of conflicts are caused by one’s job as there are a lot of factors which, combined with the high level of stress lead to strong disagreements from time to time. So what do you do when someone tries to get your post or if you are overlooked for promotion no matter how much you have worked? Definitely, the first thing that comes into your mind is to go and tell a couple of things to them. However, as long as the other’s actions do not affect you there is not point in doing that; you can also compromise your position by starting a fight at work. What you can do is to have a very relaxed attitude, do your best at work and show everyone that that job is yours to keep. By showing not to care at all about anything negative happening around you will gain points and look more professional.

If your boss is the problem and you think his treatment is unfair towards you or others you have every right in the world to complain. However, be sure that you can support your accusations and that you can point out on some real problems. Be calm and don’t forget that your boss is still an authority! In more serious cases you can ask for advice from a lawyer to be sure that you do the right thing.

And if someone broke your favorite cup or spoilt the perfect order of your files don’t make a fuss about it! That person probably feels bad enough about it! One simple discussion should be enough. As about gossip, don’t let that get to you. Comments are part of every successful person’s life.

At home – one’s home should be a peaceful place to relax. However fights occur very often in most families as gathered stress from work, frustrations and insufficient time spent together can easily make someone lose their temper. Family conflicts are very hard to handle many times as they are not always based on rational reasons and strong feelings and suffering are involved. So what should you do?

Parents and children: the generation gap has always brought a whole lot of discussions whether about music, lifestyle or friends. What you should know is that your parents only want the best for you, so, even if they may seem a little (or extremely) exaggerated don’t make a tragedy out of it. Of course, nobody likes to be told what friends to have or who to go out with but before starting to shout, think it over. They may be right as they can see things you just don’t. And if they are just trying to protect you, discuss calmly and explain your reasons for making a certain choice ( even though a huge tattoo on your arm may not be very easy to explain). Accept compromise even if you don’t like it. Prove to them that you can be responsible and you can think for yourself and most important, don’t offend them or tell unpleasant things. You will regret it later!

Couple affairs: when it comes to couples, matters become even more complicated as one’s feelings can be hurt in many different ways. Shouting, accusing and threatening about you moving back with your mother will not help a relationship but will destroy it. A relationship should always be built on trust and respect so this is why two people should be able to discuss practically every subject without being embarrassed or afraid. Making some time for each other should solve most of the problems, but when having to face others again do your best not to hurt the other. Angry words said during a fight can leave wounds that are hard to heal. So think why your partner might be mad and don’t decide from the start that you are right. Listen and don’t make sudden decisions as regrets will be useless later.

Everywhere – we see people fighting in shops, hotels, in the parking lot, on the street; even if they do not know each other they find a reason or another to start a conflict. Of course, there are a lot of people who show no respect or who lack in experience so they are totally incapable to have a post. What is annoying is that these people appear when you need them the least. But, even if you look at the incompetent clerk in front of you and feel like just hitting him with your umbrella, take a deep breath, be polite and wait. You may be just as annoying in some cases (OK, maybe not as much) and you would not enjoy such behavior. And then, by being calm and respectful you will not make things even harder then they already are!

So, even though many times it’s terribly hard to resist the temptation of just hitting someone remember that there are better solutions for avoiding and managing a conflict. Make your life and the others’ simple and pleasant!