Stop staring at my plate! – 10 simple rules when eating out

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“I eat dinner at the kitchen table
By the light that switches on
I eat leftovers with mashed potatoes
No more candlelight
No more romance
No more small-talk
When the hunger’s gone”
~Rufus Wainwright feat Dido~

I am sure most of you were invited at a certain time for lunch or for dinner. It happened to me too and unfortunately I noticed that everyone at the table was staring at me. If you don’t want to find yourself in the same situation follow some simple rules:
-no one starts serving before the host. Take only from what you are served and don’t stare at dishes that are not offered to you. Moreover, try to keep your comments for yourself in order not to spoil everyone’s evening.
-don’t take the biggest piece of steak. Everyone will see that and will only think you are selfish. Take the piece in front of you no matter how it is. It’s just a matter of luck.
don’t stare in anyone’s plate. Even if someone spilled something on the table pretend that you haven’t noticed that.
don’t ask for food no matter how hungry you are. If the host forgets to ask you whether you want something…that’s it. You will get something to eat on your way home.
-don’t put your elbows on the table. Keep them close to your body. You can only put your wrists on the table, close to the plate. Try to stay close to the table in order not to drop anything on the floor. Sit on the whole chair not only on one of its edges.
don’t stretch over the table to get bread. Ask the person next to you to give you some bread. When offering the bread, take the whole basket not just a slice. Don’t make supplies; take no more than two slices!
-never wipe your mouth with the bread. If you don’t have a napkin, ask one from your host.
-try to eat as silently as you can in order not to attract the others’ attention and not to be considered someone who doesn’t know how to behave.
don’t spit the stones to your plate or in your hand. Put them in a spoon brought near the lips and then in the plate one by one
eat everything from the plate. Don’t leave anything, but never use a piece of bread to clean your plate!
So this is how you can avoid unpleasant situations and create a good impression of an educated person. So what more could I say than “Bon apetit!”